Struggles

This week has been a struggle for me; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I have felt extremely complacent and if I’m being completely honest, I have felt downright joyless.  I feel like complacency is a dangerous place for a Christian to find themselves in.  It can lead to a lack of dependence on the Lord and this only leads to a lack of faith.

I’ve lacked the excitement for quiet time, prayer time, and running; so I decided I had had enough.  I didn’t like continuing in this state of unconsciousness. So, I prayed and I prayed hard.  I wanted to feel that joy again that I so often get when I have my quiet time, when I have a continuous conversation with God, and when I run.  All of these things have become a habit to me and when I am faithful, I feel his glory and I haven’t all week.  After I prayed, I opened the If:Equip Bible study and listened to the  inspiring words of so many women from around the world sharing insight about the book of Genesis.  It was so refreshing for my soul to read these comments from these faithful women and I slowly began to feel that joy again; I slowly began to feel His glory again.

After quiet time, I left to go on a run.  It was a tough run.  Tougher than a lot of other runs I’ve had lately.  Halfway through my run, I decided to stop focusing on my tired legs and stop focusing on the out of breath feeling I had, and I started to pray again.  Just like my need to feel God’s joy in studying the Bible, I wanted that joy in running to come back as well because it wasn’t there for the first half of my run.  It was disheartening and disappointing.  I prayed hard again and asked him to calm my thoughts and bring me back to Him and let me use my run to praise Him.  I began to just thank Him for everything He has blessed me with and all of a sudden my legs weren’t as tired and I felt like I could breathe again.  When I was done, the feeling of accomplishment, joy, and His glory overwhelmed me and it was a precious moment for me.  This morning was a clear image of delighting myself in the Lord, both with my studies and on my run, and He gave me the desire I had for feeling His joy again.  Psalms 37:4

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