Scared

FaithfulRunner

I honestly do not know why I’m so scared of so many things.  I left to go on run early this morning and started to think about 2 Timothy 1:7 which says “For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline”.  After a short reflection on this verse, I started to feel angry; angry to the point of tears forming in my eyes.  I’m angry because I’m so scared of things I shouldn’t be scared of.  I’m scared to stand up for what is right. I’m scared to be a disciple. I’m scared to express my opinion when it comes to my faith. I’m scared to run faster. I’m scared to run longer. I am scared of so many things that I shouldn’t be scared of and it leaves me with a sick feeling in my soul.  I’m doing the Stuck Bible study by Jennie Allen and thankfully this week’s homework is over the topic of being scared.  This made me realize something.  I realized that I’m scared of doing all of these things because I lack confidence in who I am and my capabilities.  I have been a Christian for many years now and I cannot remember a time when I spoke to someone about Jesus and I can only think of very few times I have invited someone to church. To me, that is extremely troubling. I have Jesus in my life and my job is to give Him away to everyone around me and I don’t do it.  I have the 2 Timothy 1:7 verse written in my notes on my phone which I read pretty much every day and yet I still have that timid spirit about me.  I don’t want to be timid in anything I do. I want that power and love and self-discipline the spirit of God brings to us. I had to laugh after I finished my run because I had that awesome feeling you get after a good run so why would I be scared to run faster and longer knowing what follows? It’s the same thing in my Christian walk.  I have done Bible studies, and I go to church, and I read scripture, and even writing this blog brings me a sense of joy because I’m in the spirit of God so why am I so scared to share that with others knowing the joy it brings?  I think what it’s going to take for someone like me is to just step out on faith and go for it. Just forget the fear and talk to someone, invite someone to church, and run faster and longer every opportunity I get.

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